Carolyn Cowan is a Kundalini Yoga teacher, a teacher trainer and a psychosexual therapist specialising in addiction & trauma recovery. She runs the programme The Mother's Journey.
The birth path is one you offer and not one you choose…
La grossesse & la spiruline
Soyez éveilléeS à ce qui se passe
Voici les 10 choses les plus importantes à savoir pour une femme enceinte d'après Estelle, sage femme française qui a beaucoup voyagé et travaillé longtemps à l'hopital américain.
1/ Acceptez de ne plus rien contrôler. Il faut ‘lâcher l’affaire’, ce n'est plus vous qui commandez…. il faut lâcher pour accoucher, déconnecter le cerveau.
2/ Réfléchissez à ce que vous voulez pour vous et votre enfant. Il faut suivre ce que vous souhaitez, ce dont vous avez besoin… certaines femmes ne peuvent pas envisager la nudité devant le corps médical, d’autres on été maltraitées et son déjà traumatisées à l’idée d’enfanter, pour elles, la péridurale est donc indispensable pour soulager la douleur de la mère… écoutez ce qui est juste pour vous.
3/ Identifiez un praticien à proximité, un gynécologue, une sage femme ou un généraliste en qui vous avez confiance.
4/ Choisissez un bon praticien en diagnostic anomalie fœtale si vous désirez recourir à cette médecine précise qui est en train de se développer. Il y a de très bons praticiens dans le domaine qui peuvent dépister des anomalies génétiques sur le foetus et façon non invasive… Cela ne remplace pas l’amiosynthèse mais un bon généticien pourra vous donner des indications significatives.
5/ Dites que vous voulez la péridurale à l’hôpital même si vous changez ensuite d’avis. Réveiller l’anesthésiste pour la 6 eme fois en pleine nuit pour une péridurale non planifié va le mettre de mauvaise humeur et il sera moins attentif envers vous.
6/ Bien choisir sa maternité, allez sur les forums. Certaines vous laisserons boire et manger, bouger, d’autres non.
7/ Si la progression est très lente ou que ça bloque… il y a probablement une raison psychologique, quelque chose qui n’a pas été exprimé. Plus vous travaillez en amont et plus vous libérez les blocages.
8/ Soyez éveillée à ce qui se passe! / Soyez engagée avec la prise de décision. Soyez actrice de la naissance de votre bébé, c’est votre histoire, ne restez pas passive devant la médecine… Il est possible que vous soyez stressées par la situation à l’hôpital également. Les sages-femmes ont moins le temps de prendre soin de vous, elles doivent se concentrer sur la traçabilité et elles ont beaucoup de papiers à remplir. Ils/elles sont parfois jeunes et sans experience et parfois elles n’ont tout simplement pas le temps de vous apportez un accompagnement en présence et en conscience. C’est donc à vous de vous préparez. Il faut garder le sens critique, poser des questions, ne pas se laisser faire à n’importe quoi mais plutôt collaborer avec le corps médical.
9/ Remplissez le congélateur. La dernière semaine de votre grossesse, pensez à remplir votre congélateur car une fois que le bébé sera là, vous n’aurez pas le temps de cuisiner. C’est aussi très important d’avoir une amie, de la famille ou une doula prête à vous donner un coup de main, quelqu’un qui sache quoi faire et puisse répondre à vos questions.
10/ Bouger. Pendant le travail, mettez vous comme vous êtes bien. Même si la position peut vous sembler farfelu, trouvez ce qui vous convient. Vous pouvez demander un moniteur déhanbuloatoir et pensez à faire pipi pour ne pas avoir la vessie pleine…
Birth is a mysterious thing...
Elizabeth Echlin has been practicing hypnobirthing for 7 years. The first thing she told me is that she is surprised that today, even very educated women end up going to their local hospital with unsatisfying or even violent birth experiences. It seems that women, and french women especially, are naive… or afraid just by the thought of giving birth at home. I guess having a birth at hospital is reassuring… but the truth is that birth is a mysterious thing, no one can predict ever what will happen, we can only prepare the best we can so that we feel confident that it will all go well. No one will know better what to do than the woman herself and at hospital it’s too rare that she is given the opportunity to connect with that inner natural power.
From what I am hearing on the one end of the spectrum, in most developed countries, if a baby is above the ‘normal weight’, he will be forced to get out before term and if it’s a breeched baby, he cannot even consider having a natural birth… It seems so violent to me… especially as on the other end of the birth spectrum with traditional midwives, babies are allowed to take as long as they want, get out in any position they feel like, come out into the water, have a plant bath and be put in silk fabric surrounded by flowers… This will also have an impact on the mother, the bounding with the child and how she is going to feel post-partum… Some women are absolutely traumatized by their birth experience but they won’t talk about it because they are ashamed, they feel they failed. Elisabeth had a really beautiful birth, it was like ‘an awakening’, a door that opened… and she told me that if ever she isn’t feeling great, she finds strength recalling the moment of the birth of her son, she feels proud, strong and inspired. I would like all women to feel like this, I loved it when she said: "if all women could give birth naturally, we would not take shit from anyone ever again!" . We shall have the opportunity to live our births fully, we shall be given the space and tools to walk that rite of passage in peace especially as it is the most challenging thing will even experience.
I was so happy to hear that in the UK, the NHS has now said officially that they are supporting home birth, saying that it is as safe as a hospital birth. It’s also a great way to have the same midwife throughout pregnancy and for the delivery.
Elisabeth top 3 :
1/ Don’t set the bar high, you may risk to be disappointed.
2/ Work on the fear
3/ Make a birth plan & choose your hospital because it will have an impact on the birth journey.
For the Doulas: As people supporting birth, our intention should be to create an environment for women to simply be themselves, without expectations. Women need to listen to themselves and need encouragement. We shall only be knitting on the corner of a room…
Hypnobirthing seems to be a great technic. The proposition is to assist around 5 sessions with a specialist such as Elizabeth. The couple will be introduced to the role of the hormones, especially the Oxytocin (the hormone that is produced when we make love, provoking the contractions, stretching the cervix and the uterus during birth). Most couples are already experts in producing that hormone just by the simple fact that they are expecting a child! They will explore the nervous system and work on the protector role of the father. They’ll also practice practical exercices to prepare for birth.
Pour un accouchement heureux
D'après Ana Luisa Andrade Baptista, doula depuis 12 ans au Brésil, un accouchement heureux est basé sur 3 choses importantes:
+ la sécurité. la femme doit se sentir en confiance
+ la liberté de mouvement. la femme doit se sentir libre de manger, de boire ce qu’elle veut.
+ l’intimité. au brésil il arrive que des femmes reçoivent jusqu'à 10 touchés vaginaux consécutifs par des étudiants - c’est d’une très grande violence
Voici le Top 10 d'Ana Luisa:
1/ un bon prénatal — Selon Anna Luisa, 90% des femmes sont en faibles risques et n’ont pas de problèmes associés à la grossesse. Un accompagnement médical simple est la plus part du temps suffisant (pression artérielle, examens d’urine, croissance de foetus).
2/ Un projet de naissance - la femme s’informe, rassemble des documents sur ce qu’elle veut et ce qu’elle ne veut pas pour son propre accouchement. le médecin va seulement intervenir si il y quelque chose qui ne va pas. Cela semble essentiel.
3/ Une doula — certaines femmes pensent qu’elles n’en ont pas besoin mais pour celles qui le veulent, une doula c'est un plus et elles le méritent. Anna Luisa fait parti d'un grand réseau de doula au Brésil et elle connait l'importance de leur action.
4/ Le soutien familial mais sans pression. Parfois la famille pense aider mais elle dérange la femme enceinte. Au brésil il est parfois difficile de se détacher de la pression familiale qui pousse souvent vers un accouchement très médicalisé pour des raisons pratiques.
5/ Se faire respecter dans ses choix.
6/ Savoir ce que vous voulez et ce que vous ne voulez pas.
7/ Elle conseille toujours aux femmes de se faire accompagner dans un travail sur elle, pas forcement traditionnel, quelque chose qui amène à l’auto connaissance, connaitre nos noeuds émotionnels, notre corps.
8/ Prenez conscience que la douleur ce n’est pas la même chose que la souffrance. (la souffrance alimente la douleur... la douleur est ponctuelle, elle peut être soulagée par la respiration, la souffrance est un état d'être dans lequel on peut se retrouver 'coincée' / Ina May dit que lorsque la femme commence à exprimer qu'elle a mal, elle répond 'es-tu en train de te plaindre? stop complaining she says...)
9/ L’appui inconditionnel du père ou d'une présence bienveillante - l'homme (ou la présence bienveillante) doit savoir comment alléger la douleur de la femme (massage, etc), être à ses côtés mais ne pas être envahissant, se souvenir que c’est l’accouchement de sa femme et non le sien, savoir qu’elle va beaucoup crier, qu’il ne doit pas avoir de la peine mais qu’il faut essayer accueillir la douleur de sa femme.
10/ Connaitre les phases de l'accouchement et la physiologie de l'accouchement.
Pour les doulas : Anna Luisa considère la doula au Brésil comme l'agent du changement. Le réseau de doula dans le pays fait tout son possible pour être acceptées en milieu hospitalier et avoir le droit d'accompagner les femmes jusqu'au bout.
"THANKS TO GOD, DOULAS EXISTS" - Ana Luisa, Brazilian Doula.
Accueillir & protéger la vie
Vivre une grossesse c’est un grand moment d’intériorisation pour se découvrir en tant que femme. Selon Dominique Marquette, sage-femme de grande experience, voici les 10 choses importantes qu'une femme enceinte doit faire...
* Adapter son alimentation, manger sainement.
* Ralentir son rythme.
* Trouver une personne ressource (sage-femme, doula ou autre).
* Écouter les besoins de son corps et les satisfaire.
* Méditer.
* Construire la confiance en soi et la tester.
* Rester mystérieuse sur le terme, le lieu et la date de l'accouchement ainsi que le sexe.
* Tourner son attention sur ce que l'on aime.
* Se faire masser régulièrement.
* Aiguiser son discernement et s'entourer de belles personnes.
Note pour les doulas & les sages-femmes : Il ne s’agit pas d’essayer de se remplacer mais au contraire de former une équipe pour accueillir la vie. Dominique Marquette insiste sur la qualité de l’accueil que l’on offre à l’enfant et l’importance d'accueillir et de protéger la vie. Il n’est ici pas seulement question d’observer que l’enfant est physiquement vivant, l’attention va plus loin pour un accompagnement dans le plus grand respect du movement puissant de la naissance. Les accompagnants se doivent d’être dans la plus grande neutralité car la femme est dans un état d’extra sensibilité et en aucun elle devrait sentir une intrusion. Parfois juste un mot peut sembler d’une grande violence dans cet instant.
Birth Stories in Mexico
This is a recording of Maria Mais, a beautiful woman, Mexican healer. she is a pre-hispanic dancer and she inherited the ancestral knowledge of the diagnosis through the corn from her great-grandfrather. She has been travelling through several communities where she has been acquiring and transmitting knowledge of natural medicine and traditional Mexica for 20 years. Here she is talking about BIRTH IN MEXICO @ el Llamado Del Corazon De La Tierra 2015. I love you Maria. Thank you so much for your sharing your wisdom.
MAMACITA, A GRANDMOTHER LIKE NO OTHER.
It’s 11 am, Mamacita wakes up and put on her 25 years old flower prints robe. She prepares her women morning tea: raspberry leaves, clover flowers, corn silk and elderflower while listening to the Mul Mantra of Snatam Kaur, a Kundalini yoga classic. Then, she makes her coffee in her dad’s old coffee pot, being very careful to drink every sip of it and clean it and dry it… Morning ritual is over; the day can start.
Mamacita has help give birth to more than 2000 babies in Arkansas, France, Spain and Portugal. Since a few years, friends and family are bagging her to stop but her answer is always the same: No. This grandmother, not like any other, is very stubborn. « If I stop, I die » she said with her bright bleu wet eyes. Wherever a baby is calling, Mamacita goes. When we met, she was waiting for a new born in Ajezur, south Portugal, a few days after the birth, she was already on the road again, heading up to the cold mountains of the north and to a rainbow community in the middle of nowhere. You should see what she is traveling with: ‘pool in the box’ an inflatable swimming pool, a small library with some of the best books about water birth, her midwife equipment, her knitting stuff to make baby hats, clothes and a huge bag of medicinal plants. Mamacita’s mission is to prepare the couple (and the children) for home birth: « I don’t say much to the woman, we have it all inside, they just need to connect to our ancestors. I teach the man, they are the one that do not know… ».
What fascinated me with Mamacita is her trust in life force and her devotion. After each birth, she writes the baby’s birth story.
TOP 10 Mamacita
1/ Drink Raspberry leaf
2/ Don’t stop your life if you are sport person or a flying acrobat - don’t stop! Just keep doing it until you can’t do it anymore, usually around 7 or 8 months.
3/ Learn some kind of yoga or meditation technique, it will keep your body in good shape and give you good breathing & relaxation basics.
4/ Increase your sexual relationship to keep the vagina and uterus muscle toned which will help you in delivery.
5/ The first 4 months, increase your vitamin E B and Iron – don’t take it in vitamins because your body will use too much energy to break the vitamin down, it’s wearing out your body so try to get it through your food.
6/ Swimming is so important when you are pregnant, especially the last 3 months, if you can go every week it’s great for you and for your baby.
7/ Find out how you were born to prepare for childbirth, if you are born with C-section then you will have a lot of work to do.
8/ If you have children already, learn that they can be involved in the birth no matter how old they are - have your children there if you are not in the hospital!
9/ Do the Blessing Way ceremony with your Doula to prepare the birth and the post natal network- after pregnancy YOU WILL NEED HELP, don’t rely on the father to do everything, the baby need undivided attention.
10/ Consider having your baby in water.
TOP 10 Muay (Thailand)
Muay is one of the sweetest person i’ve ever met in my travels, she came miles way on her scooter to meet me in the middle of the busy night market with a bag of colorful sesame pastries.
She’s graduated 5 years ago from herbalist midwife school in Chiang Mai and works now at her teacher’s clinic Sam Pha Lang, a natural birthing clinic. She is also gives Anja light healing.
1 / You number one preoccupation should be your HEART, hold on to your heart and LOVE LOVE LOVE… Heart is the Boss, it controls everything with the mind.
2 / You shall take care of ourselves and our family
3 / You need a healthy diet
4 / Music is very important as well as prayers. In Thailand, it’s often recommended to the women to go pray at the temple (or the church); the idea is to pray for the baby to be strong.
5 / Herbs are essential to support the woman pre and post natal process. You shall drink certains herbs such as Yahom (especially if you need strengths) and after one week, if you are had no C-section, you should use the steam room as much as twice a day, this will help the body and it’s good for the milk. (Tamarin leaves, Lemon Grass, Bergamon, small red onion are exemples of plants you may use in the steam)
6 / Don’t be surprised if you only realize that you have a child, 3 or 4 years down the line, it’s so intense and immersive that sometimes we need those years to actually realize it fully.
7 / You need to exercice, walk!
8 / Please use meditation to relax and control your emotions, this is absolutely essential.
9 / Choose what is best for you, have your own ’Style’, choose to do things your own way!
10 / Be happy, kind and honest
NOTE TO THE DOULAS : Muay said that the most important for us was to adapt ourselves and take time to get to know the family. « You shall talk to the family, investigate and learn about the habits of the mom, know if she drinks enough water, if she sleeps enough and slowly get to know her and introduce suggestions on how to facilitate the venue of the child in the house. » She also said that meditation was very important for us as well in order to balance our breathe & our blood circulation which will allow us to have clear (quick and right) answers when we need them. Muay meditates every morning and every evening, she insisted to say that it was key.
Wisdom from a traditional village midwife
All she knows, Nah owes it to her grand-father. She cannot write or read in english but she makes a point of teaching post-partum treatments such as Yuu Fai to locals and foreigners.
Nha remembers her school teacher telling her that while he was in hospital she shall never ask him about herbal medicine, only once he had left his desk. « He is a smart man » she says. « The doctors don’t trust herbal medicine and ancient knowledge anymore, they look down at me because I have done herb school and not medicine school, i am not allowed to help women unless they are giving birth in a tuk tuk passing by or on the side of the street… If I do a home birth they would come and put me to jail. » Nha is sad and she adds.. "In the hospital they take the baby out by cesarian but it’s like a mango or a banana, if you pull it out of the tree when it’s not ready to be eaten, it hasn’t develop all its properties and there is sometimes a bitter liquide coming out of the fruit… we should wait for them to be ready! THE WOMB AND THE BABY ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT REALLY KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING, we shouldn’t assume that we know better than them. »
I asked her what kind of herbs she knows are good for women around birth time, she said that it depends on the woman and that she would need to smell them. The smell of the blood (that every woman loose after birth) would give her indications on how the woman is coping and she would then know what plant to give her. It’s sometimes mixtures and the quantity would also vary. She usually makes a small bowl or a powder to be mixed with water. She said also that in most villages, even until now, women are using heat to heal. Several times a week, the young mother would have a herbal steam bath to help her get back together « after we give birth, we are like dead », the woman needs to build her inner fire again. She shall lay down next to the fire and use herbal bath, always staying warm. Nah deplores the fact that young moms are getting out of their houses with a baby of only a few days to show it to their friends, she thinks it’s stupid and that this is NOT showtime. In her opinion the mom and the baby need to stay calm and warm, because if they don’t do that, later, they will struggle with health.
"for 100 years, we eat herbs necessary for curing our illnesses, we have everything around us, they mainly grow in the jungle... So why do they want us to eat paracetamol?"
Birthing in Thailand
According to Lowie Row, American nurse living & working in Chiang Mai for many years; Thai women are really lucky - Indeed, whatever birth they choose, they can be efficiently supported. Facilities are available for having a natural birth at the hospital, technology is minimized and the nurses keep their distance/ « hands off » unless intervention is really necessary. The couple is left to birth on their own if that's what they desire. But is the couple prepared for that?
And what about if they wanted to give birth at home? well, even though in the 60's, 99% of the women in villages gave birth at home, it is now forbidden and punish by the law. Traditional midwives are not allowed to work from their place or in people home anymore.
So today, in some of the clinics 80% of women are choosing C-section. Apparently it's because they are superstitious, looking for the ’lucky day’ for their baby’s birth. Most of the women also believe that men would not look at them the same way, that part is making me really sad.
No one is explaining the repercussion of the surgery. No one is taking about it and it’s working well for obstetrician’s diaries.
Top 10 Lowie Row (USA/Thailand)
1/ You need to educate yourself (and your partner) about your birth options.
2/ Trust yourself, it’s the best start for parenting. Know that birthing will give you a strong feeling of accomplishment. God has designed your body,
he has created it so that it can give birth. You have to learn to make the process more enjoyable, having the father in the room is a unique experience.
3/ Find a doctor that will respect your wishes, find a birthing place where you can fell safe, where they also have equipment to step in if it’s ever needed.
4/ You should take very good care during pregnancy. Be well nourished, hydrated and rested.
5 / Enjoy the process of pregnancy. Many women have not been able to be pregnant so enjoy the process!
6 / Frustration = Expectations minus Your reality so Be flexible! Never say ‘it will be like that’. There are many things that we cannot project… You can have wishes but don’t hold on to them. If things are not going the way you had imagine, let go and find out how to have what is important to you in another way. For exemple, you may not be able to do ‘skin to skin’, but dad may be able to. The goal here is to not come out frustrated.
7/ Breastfeed 6 to 7 weeks at least it may not alway be smooth but it is important, so persevere.
8/ Have support when the child arrives
9/ Expect that you may have post-partum depression, adjustments that are not always easy to make. It’s normal.
10/ Find joy in each day with your child: new born day are so fast - they dont seem on the spot but they are!!
Mindfullness with the Monks
I am mindful of my breath, breathing in and breathing out.
Slow, fast, deep in the navel or raising from the abdomen.
It is telling me how I am feeling today.
Thoughts pass by like motocycles on the highway
Some of them louder than others
Same stories, same people, same feelings over and over but moving.
I love when a old friend comes, the memory of a place or a moment that I enjoyed.
It’s not always beautiful, it can be the image of a bad dream… but Iet it be, far from judgment.
Then finally it’s quiet.
The mind is ready to receive, the door of the palace is wide open.
Body is no limitation anymore, mind expands, the universe responds.
A feeling of calmness and infinity.
Creation.
Birth. Rebirth.
I want to stay there forever, explore the colors, the sounds and the sensations.
There is no sun, moon, stars or planets, only warm lights dancing.
I won’t open my eyes.
Pure nothingness arise.
Power of life can be felt.
VIPASSANA MEDITATION
I’ve been in a Wat Pa Tam Mwa Forest Monastery (Meong Son) for 7 days, meditating with the monks in their peaceful paradise. Imagine a luxury resort but everyone dressed up in white, eating vegetarian food, in bed by 10pm and awake at 5am every day. During sitting meditation, Men are in front, women behind.
« no touching or no massage » is part of the guide of conduct of the monastery.
So here I am, enjoying the beauty of Vipassana with people from pretty much everywhere around the world. I feel i know the teacher since forever. The master is always laughing, his hobby is to watch foreigners and guess what animal they were in their past incarnations.
Satipatthana is the Buddha’s most systematic explanation of the practice of mind training for realization of truth. It has complex guidelines. In the temple they teach us the basic first step of meditation, which is already quite a challenge, it’s called anapanasati-bhavana, the cultivation of mindfulness with breathing. Understanding and getting to know our breathing, which can change from long to short, fast or slow helps gaining mastering over the body and the mind. If our breathing is calm, the body will be likewise which leads to happiness and joy. « I will meditate diligently. May tranquility grow in my mind to bear the fruit of insight and wisdom. Now I will breathe mindfully. Breathing in, I will be mindful, breathing out I will be mindful. Breathing in I will say to myself ‘BUD’, breathing out I will say to myself ‘DHO’». BUD DHO means the enlightened one.
I am doing my best and every day I feel more space in my head, like if the clouds where fading away. The stories rarely stop but I get to watch them and mindfully let them be, not judging them... the medicine here is to look at the thoughts and just don’t care, as if I was going to die the following second and it was my last breath.
The magic of this work is that on the other hand, everything that's in the matrix becomes important, every little detail of life is the entire universe. Flowers are more beautiful that they were before, only because now I truly observe them. I move around the place slowly enjoying each of my steps, trying to avoid the eyes of my friend Ronaldo who makes me laugh so much, that’s probably the hardest part!
Rituel du REBOZO
Photos Laure Duchet: https://www.laureduchet.com/
Le rituel du Rebozo est un soin proposé à quatre mains, deux femmes entrent dans un rituel précis et intime avec pour seul objectif: prendre soin de la femme comme de la plus belle pierre précieuse de l'univers.
Le soin dure environ quatre heures.
Vous sentirez un jeu de couvertures digne des rituels japonais, un modelage aux huiles, un bain chaud ou un hammam, et enfin un envelopment et un resserrage du corps avec le tissu rebozo en sept points clés.
Une tisane de plantes spécifiquement adaptée est servie tout au long de la séance pour accompagner la montée en chaleur du corps.
Ce soin s'adresse à toutes les femmes, pour célébrer un évènement joyeux de la vie ou pour fermer la porte sur un chapitre terminé.
Il est répandu pendant la période postnatale. La femme qui a accouché a besoin de chaleur, de se reposer et de retrouver son centre énergétique. (Il n'y a pas de limites dans le temps, certaines femmes le font juste après la naissance, d'autres plusieurs mois voir un ou deux ans plus tard.)
Ce soin est également proposé aux femmes ayant vécu un deuil, une fausse couche, un avortement ou tout simplement qui ont besoin de recentrage pour accueillir le nouveau. Il peut être offert au moment des premières lunes (règles), avant un mariage ou avant de commencer un nouvel emploi.
Le rituel rebozo fait parti de la vie des femmes mexicaines et ce transmet de générations en générations.
Pour prendre rendez-vous, merci de me contacter par mail laurelene.chambovet@gmail.com ou téléphone 06.48.17.00.77 ou via ma collègue Erica https://www.ericamrit.org/
4h de soin, le matériel, les plantes médicinales et deux masseuses - 300 euros
Si vous cherchez d'autres practiciennes près de chez vous: Ecole Française de Rebozo: http://www.rebozoaufeminin.fr/
"Merci pour ce moment merveilleux aujourd'hui, réalisé pour passer dans une nouvelle ère dans ma vie. Merci pour cette belle énergie, douceur et force à la fois, qui me donne l'impulsion et l'accompagnement dont j'avais besoin pour m'ouvrir à moi même." A.